


Told You So

by 2edge4u



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Eventual Fluff, F/F, I'm Sorry, So much angst, i had to deal with that episode somehow, not really sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-15
Updated: 2015-07-15
Packaged: 2018-04-09 10:34:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4345199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2edge4u/pseuds/2edge4u
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post episode 13. I couldn't really handle everything that happened in this episode so I wrote this to make myself feel better. There's a lot of angst in this one, but stay with me. Canon-ish.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Told You So

**Carmilla POV**

I love her, but Laura has to know that protesting Mattie and her dastardly ways isn’t going to solve a damn thing. Laura may be the bravest person I’ve ever known in my more than three centuries, but she still has no chance against my sister. Damnit, I wish she would have listened to me that first night we arrived back at Silas and we could have just left. So what that we killed my mother and her minions, pissed of a god that’s as old as the big bang and subsequently destroyed the campus while possibly saving the world or whatever? Why do we have to be the ones to fix everything? The supernatural happenings at this god forsaken fish pit have been going on a lot longer than either of us have been alive, or dead for that matter, so it isn’t our responsibility to fix it. I just wish that I could get Laura to understand that. We are going to talk when she and the jolly red giant get back. I don’t really care about how much headspace she has for me right now, she’s going to make room.

“Can you believe her!? When she started spewing that pre-packaged speech about how we need to ‘come together as a Silas family to reinvigorate the student body instead of wasting our time with trivial public displays of aggression’ I threw up in my mouth.” Danny says while traipsing through the door and dropping her sign on the floor.

“I know, right? Mattie is so full of herself and I can’t believe she’s still trying to pretend like nothing is wrong here,” Laura stated when walking in after Danny.

“Was she always like this, Carm?” Laura asked.

Why does she always do this? I know she expects me to pick her over Mattie but it’s so much more complicated than she understands it to be. Of course I’m on Laura’s side here, but she also doesn’t know Mattie like I do. Mattie has seen so much more of the world than even I have and understands the greater evil that is really at work here in more detail than any of us could ever hope to. Mattie was always there for me in ways that Maman wasn’t. Mattie is my sister and I love her.

“I guess so,” I say as I turn over another page of my book and don’t bother to look up.

“Seriously? You guess so?” Danny says.

“What? I never paid attention to the business side of my so called family. I had better things to do.”

“Right, like sitting on a fucking chaise-lounge for days on end, reading books that no one that’s still alive gives a shit about while the rest of us are out there putting our lives on the line!?” Danny yells.

I take a deep breath before calmly putting my book down and throw my legs over the chair.

“Look Red, don’t you fucking dare talk to me about putting my life on the line. I know that you hate my very existence because you think that I stole Laura away from you and I get that, but let’s get a few things straight here. First of all, I didn’t take anything away from you. Laura more than willingly jumped ship when she realized how awful being in an actual relationship with you would be. You always diminished her ideas and made her feel like she was always doing something wrong.”

“Carmilla.” Laura interrupts.

“No, let me finish. This has to be said. Second of all, I may be undead or whatever, but did you forget about the whole me diving 20,000 leagues under the sea to bust out an all-consuming death sword, saving Laura, you and your pathetic friends, attacking my own mother with the aforementioned death sword and jumping into a pit to kill some hungry light all the while knowing in my unbeating heart that I would not survive? Did you fucking forget about that!?” I yelled.

“Well, did you forget about me pulling you out of that pit? You would still be fish food if it weren’t for me,” Danny says.

“Please, Clifford. Don’t act like you did that for any other reason than to impress Laura,” I say.

“Whoa, let’s just take a step back here,” Laura interjects.

“NO!” Danny and I both exclaim in unison.

“Look, Bathory Jr. I’m not saying that I’m perfect or righteous or whatever, but at least I’m trying to do something. When you guys took off after the battle, we were left here to deal with the bullshit that YOUR family caused. Laura says that you’ve changed and you’re not a monster anymore. After all this I can see that she’s right. At least a monster cares about something, even if that something is evil. You’re just a coward and a waste of the dead flesh that you inhabit.”

I looked over at Laura in that moment. I don’t know what I was hoping for, but whatever it was I didn’t see it. All I saw was my girlfriend standing there and looking at me like she didn’t even know me anymore. This is all too much.

“Danny, you’re right. I won’t be bothering you anymore,” I say as I walk out of the room.

As I’m storming out, I hear Laura finally calling after me but I am way too pissed off and hurt to turn around. I need some space to think.

* * *

 

**Laura POV**

“Danny, what the hell was that?” I said while running to the door, trying to catch Carm. She was long gone with her vampire speed and all.

“What? She started it.”

“She started it!? Not helping!”

“Laura, someone had to say it. She’s been useless since you guys came back and the campus is falling apart around us and she needs to help us!” Danny said while throwing her arms up in defense.

“Carmilla hasn’t been useless! Yea, I may wish that she was doing more right now, but she’s not useless. She certainly isn’t a coward or a waste of flesh. How could you say that? She saved all of us.”

“She’s not some superhero, Laura. She’s a blood-sucking vampire and I think you’ve forgotten that all together.”

“I haven’t forgotten anything, Danny. I’m not some child with the attention span of a gnat. I know exactly who I am and who Carmilla is. You might not want to hear this, but I love her.”

“You what?”

“You heard me right, I love her. I love every part of her. I love her smile, her charm, her apathy, her disdain for anything cheery, her laugh, and her being a vampire! Hell, I even love the way she leaves her damn hair in the shower drain because it reminds me that she’s still here. I thought I lost her once and I can’t… I just can’t,” I say while running out of the apartment after Carmilla.

“Laura, wait!” Danny yells after me.

“Not now, Danny!” I yelled back.

I hit the ground running, but I have no idea of where to look. I’m running from building to building, looking for any signs that Carmilla may be there. I should have stepped in to defend her, but there is so much going on and I can’t handle it all. When I came to Silas, I expected some big adventure with books to read and parties to dance at. I never thought anything bad would actually happen, but here we are. I have checked everywhere that I know to look. I can’t believe this is happening.

I’m in the middle of the quad with my hands on my knees, chest heaving while trying to catch my breath from running around the campus like an idiot for twenty minutes when it hits me. The solarium.

* * *

 

**Carmilla POV**

“Hey,” I hear Laura say behind me.

“Hey,” I answer back while keeping my eyes on the horizon. “How did you find me?”

“I don’t know, I just took a guess. Look, I’m sorry about what Danny-“

“You don’t have to. It’s fine. She wasn’t entirely wrong so it’s whatever.”

“What?”

“You heard me, Laura.”

“Carmilla, I… I’m sorry for not defending you. I should have because Danny was wrong and you’re wrong. You’ve changed and sometimes I feel like I’m the only one in this relationship that sees that." 

“Maybe. I saw the look on your face when Vordenburg left. You don’t look at me like you used to and I don’t know what to do.”

“It’s just a lot to take in. I know that you’re a centuries old vampire and that murder comes with the territory, but hearing about said murders from a descendant of the family was a little overwhelming.”

"I get that, but since that conversation you’ve been looking at me like…”

“Like what?” Laura asked while moving closer and putting her hand on my shoulder.

“Nothing.”

“Carm.”

“Laura, you’ve been looking at me like Ell did when she found out about the monster that I really am and I can’t handle that. You used to look at me like I was everything and now-“

Laura pulls her hand back and if it would actually kill me, I would slide right off the edge of this building and gladly accept death but nothing is ever that easy for me.

“Carmilla, I… I’m just having a hard time understanding the Vordenburg situation. Why did you have to kill them all?”

“Laura, do you know what it meant to be ‘promised’ to marry a man back then? I was essentially being sold as a sex slave! I would have been doomed to a life of a baroness’ wife, churning out baby after baby hoping for a son so I wouldn’t be killed for my lack of genetic superiority. Once Maman turned me, I was a newborn vampire, hungry for blood and revenge and I took it out on that family. I’m not saying that it was right because it wasn’t, I just want you to understand the entire situation. I will pay for what I did in hell if I ever get there, but please don’t make my hell start any sooner that it has to by looking at me like that.”

“Carm, I didn’t-“ Laura starts.

“Look, Cupcake. Remember the other night when we talked about running away? Let’s go. I mean it.”

“I can’t just leave,” she says while sitting down on the ledge next to me.

“Yea, you can. We just go and never come back. It will be just the two of us and we won’t have to worry about saving the world.”

“Carm, I can’t just abandon my friends and the mess that I created. If it weren’t for my stupid journalism project, things wouldn’t have gotten this bad. Yea, your mom would still be sacrificing a bunch of virgins to a big-ass fish every twenty years, but at least the campus and the world would still be intact.”

“This isn’t your fault. You were just the first person brave enough to stand up to Maman. You’re more brave than I’ll ever be. Come with me, Laura. Please.”

“I can’t and you know that.”

“Yea, well I’m leaving tonight and when you come to your senses, I’ll be waiting.”

“Carmilla, please don’t go. I need you here.”

“No, you don’t. If you really wanted to leave, you could go. You’re choosing your friends.”

I get up to walk back into the apartment when I feel her hand grab mine and stop me.

“I’m not choosing any of this. I’m doing what I feel is right. If I don’t do any good with my life then what use am I? Carmilla, I love you but I have to do this. I will go with you and we can live together in happiness, but I’m just asking you to wait.”

“I’m not going to wait around so that you can see me for what I am and fall out of love with me like Ell did. I can’t bare that, Laura.” I say as I evaporate to anywhere but here.

 

* * *

 

**Laura POV**

Is this seriously happening? I am 19-years-old for crying out loud. Since when do teenagers have to deal with a vampire cabal trying to sacrifice a portion of the student body, a full-on possession by the leader of said cabal, campus wars between the Zetas, Summer Society and Alchemy Club, an ancient angry angler-fish god and it’s protestors, and now another evil vampire trying to ruin us while making sure to collect alumni donations for a university that has been a cover for the fish sacrifice all along? Now on top of all that, I may have just lost Carmilla. She has to understand. This is who I am. I have to do something, I just have to.

 

* * *

 

  **Carmilla POV**

I should have known this was too good to be true. Just when I thought I could be happy and in love with the girl I’ve waited centuries for, it’s all ripped away from me by mother yet again. Yea, maybe Maman forcing me to come back to Silas this time lead me to my Laura to begin with, but she’s the reason that Laura has to stay behind and save the campus. If she would have left us alone and sacrificed some other unexpecting co-eds, then Laura and I would probably be snuggled up in our bed in room 307 right now. She’s the reason I lost Ell and now Laura.

I waited until everyone left the apartment before grabbing a few books and clothes before taking off. I don’t want to leave Laura, but I can’t stay to watch her begin to resent me or worse. I have to go.

* * *

 

**Laura POV**

LaF, Perry, Danny, Kirsch, JP and I walk in from another round of unsuccessful protesting. I swear that it’s starting to feel like we’re just yelling at a brick wall which is probably accurate. I suppose now is a good time to vlog about the progress of the protest, or lack thereof.

I walk over to the desk to turn on the camera when I see an envelope with my name in neat calligraphy sitting in front of my computer. It’s actually sealed with wax which is ridiculous. It’s 2015 for crying out loud. I tune out the commotion of my friends behind me, tearing open the letter because I have a feeling I know what this is.

 

_Laura,_

_Please understand that me leaving doesn’t mean that I love you any less. In fact, I fall for you again with every look, touch, smile and kiss that you deem me worthy of receiving. In all my years on this stupid planet, you are everything that I’ve been waiting for. You are brave, strong, dignified, confident and everything that I’m not. Maybe Danny was right. Maybe I am a coward. I’m leaving because I can’t fathom the thought of you not loving me anymore and I couldn’t stick around to see that happen. You think I’m this heroic savior of the masses and I’m so very sorry that I couldn’t be that for you. At the end of the day, I’m just Carmilla. A useless vampire that really never amounted to anything._

_I will be at my home in Cyprus if you decide to come with me. Please come._

_I love you,_

_Carmilla_

“Laura, are you ok, sweetie?” Perry says with her usual concerned tone.

“No. I’m not ok. The campus is falling apart around us, I have just lost the love of my life and everything is my fault. I’ve had enough. This is enough.”

I’m running as fast as my tiny legs will carry me, back to the building where I know that bitch Mattie is staying. I know she’s like over a thousand years old and more powerful than I’ll ever be. I have lost everything because of this university and I will not let this go on another minute. She can turn me into a “red mist” afterward, but she is going to hear me out. I will see to it.

I’m banging on the door to her apartment to no avail. Maybe she’s not actually here right now but I don’t care. I’m going to bang on this door until somebody opens it.

The door flies open so fast I thought she ripped it off the hinges.

“What do you want you insufferable child?” Mattie says while standing there in a black silk robe, yawning like nothing is actually wrong.

“What do I want? Ha! That’s hilarious. We need to talk, Belmonde.” I say as I push past her and walk in the door.

“Well, well, well, little miss Katie Couric has developed some nerve in the last few days. Good, for you dear.”

“Shut up. Listen, I have lost everything because of you and your stupid vampire family and I’m not going to let this go on any longer.”

“Listen here you little shit,” she says while creeping way too close for my comfort. I don’t back down though, in fact I lean into her.

“No! You are going to let me finish,” I say and poke her in the chest as hard as I can.

She takes a step back and almost looks amused. I don’t have time for these games.

“I’m sorry that I killed your mother, but to me she was an evil vampire that was trying to kill me and all my friends. I know that you loved your mother and she was you family, but my friends and Carmilla are my family and I feel the same way about them that you do about your mother. I had to protect them. I never meant to cause you any grief, especially because I didn’t even know that you existed at the time. I saw killing her as the only way to save everyone and I know that there is at least a small part of you that understands that. Carmilla loves you, and that tells me that there is at least a little good in you. With that being said, all of this is going to stop right now.”

Mattie looks at me and starts laughing under her breath.

“I said shut up and listen! This is all going to stop because none of the students here ever deserved to go through this. All the Silas students that have been sacrificed over the years, the countless people the undead creatures that inhabit this place have eaten; none of us deserved to deal with this. When we applied here, we expected to go to a normal university, make life-long friendships, figure out who we are and leave with diploma in hand, ready to take on the world. Instead, we are literally fighting for our lives and it’s because you and the rest of the board lied. You lied about what Silas really represents and it’s time that you take responsibility for it. You are going to fix this because we shouldn’t have to. You are going to take care of that stupid fish-god thingy, you are going to rebuild the campus, you are going to bring back the library and you are going to make it safe for us to attend this place.”

“Hmm, really? Now why would I do all that?” Mattie says with that smug look on her face.

“Because I said so. I don’t care what you do to me anymore. You can turn me into a red splotch on the Savonnerie when we’re done here for all I care. Carmilla left and I had to stay here to deal with you and now I’ve lost her. I have lost everything because of you so I am going to make you fix this, even if it kills me.”

I stand there with feet planted firmly on the ground, knowing that at any moment she was going to rip my throat to shreds and delight in extracting every drop of blood from my lifeless veins. I am fuming mad and absolutely terrified at the same time and the adrenaline in my system is beginning to feel toxic. Instead of moving toward me, she glides over to a chair and sits down.

“Come. Sit.” She says while motioning to the adjacent chair.

I take in a shaky breath and move to sit and continue the previously one-sided conversation.

“Laura, is it?”

“Yes.”

What the hell is happening?

“Well, Ms. Laura, I have to say that I’m a bit impressed by your enthusiasm. How a little girl like you could ever believe that she could standing up to me is quite delusional, but I have to say I’m a little taken aback by your persistence. Carm was right about you. You’re stronger than I thought.”

“Well, I guess that I am then.”

“As far as these matters about the campus are concerned, there are some things that are going to be unavoidable. I may be a 1,200-year-old vampire, but I’m not a magician. I will try to bring your precious library back if you and your little friends will just give it a rest. We already have the funds in place to rebuild the dorms and I’m going to be bringing in an entirely new security team to make things safer for you little humans.”

“Wow, that’s so great!” I say and practically jump off the chair.

“Don’t get too excited yet, dear. There’s still the angry fish god that we have to deal with. I can’t do anything about it myself so you all will have to deal with the Corvae Corporation excavating the site. The last thing the world wants is for that thing to escape its hole and I cannot let that happen, no matter how many pretentious little teenage girls knock down my door.”

“What does that mean for us? The rest of the students?”

“Well, as I said a while ago, alumni funding has been cut severely and we need to bring in enough tuition to cover the operating budget. If you can convince your little friends to stay here and help us with the rebuilding process, I will do my part in recruiting so that the university can stay afloat.”

“I will do anything I can to help. I’ll even get my friends to help recruit!” I squeal.

“That’s great, now will you leave me be for once?”

“I can’t promise that I won’t have more questions for you, but I can promise to be more polite about asking them.”

“Fair enough,” Mattie says while reclining back into her chair.

I can’t believe this worked. I honestly expected to be killed moments after walking in the door, but it actually worked. We’re not out of the woods yet but at least Mattie is willing to compromise. I can’t wait to tell Carm… oh. That’s right. She left and I’m not sure of where to even start looking for her. I know she said she was going to her home in Cyprus but that’s a pretty big island and there are probably a lot of houses there.

“What’s wrong now? You got what you wanted and yet you’re still looking like a dog that just got punched in the face. Are you not grateful?”

“Yes, I’m very grateful that we can work things out. It’s just, Carmilla left for Cyprus because she couldn’t stay to watch me fight. She thinks I don’t love her anymore.”

“Well, do you?”

“What?”

“Do you still love her?” she asked.

“Of course I do. I love her more now than I ever have. She told me that I looked at her like Ell did when she found out about Carmilla and I never meant to hurt her like that. It’s just that hearing about her killing all those people caught me off guard. I mean, I know that she’s a vampire and everything but I just needed a minute to wrap my head around it. I didn’t even know that vampires existed until a few months ago and I certainly didn’t expect to fall in love with one but I don’t regret a thing. It may take me a moment to understand the details of her tragic life when I hear about them, but I’m not going to betray her like Ell did. Ell only loved the idea of someone like Carmilla and I love her for who she is. I love every dark and twisted part of her. I thought I lost her once and I refuse to let it happen again. I need her address right now. Do you have it?”

“Told you so!” Mattie yells back behind her.

“You told who what now?” I say, looking understandably confused.

“I’ll leave you two to talk. Have a lovely evening, Laura.” Mattie says before walking out of the room.

There she is. Carmilla hasn’t left yet. I don’t know whether I want to yell at her or kiss her right now, but I’m frozen in place.

“You’re here.” I say softly. 

“Yea, I’m here.”

“I thought you were gone forever.”

“I wanted to talk to Mattie before I left. I had to make sure that nothing would happen to you,” Carmilla says while she slowly makes her way over to me but I stand still. “I can’t believe it. You convinced my sister to fix things. I’m not sure that I could even do that.”

“Yea, well I had to try. I thought I lost you and I just didn’t care anymore,” I said before looking down at the ground. I can already feel the tears welling up behind my eyes and it burns.

Carmilla swoops in, wrapping her left hand around my waist and lifting my chin up with her right until her eyes met mine.

“Laura, I am so sorry that I hurt you. I understand completely that you’re angry. I don’t deserve you right now and I never really did.”

“That’s the thing Carmilla, you do. You are much better than you give yourself credit for. Yes, you may have a questionable past, but who doesn’t? If we were all judged exclusively by our history, then hell would be over capacity and standing room only. What matters to me is who you are right now and you are going to be. You have changed to become a better person… vampire, whatever. I have seen more good in you than bad and there is nothing that you can say to change my mind about that. You deserve me because I deserve you. We deserve each other and that’s the end of the story. You and me forever. That’s it.”

“Laura, you are too good for this world.”

I can’t take the lack of contact anymore and I lean in to kiss her. It’s just like our first kiss after the battle and exactly the opposite. It slow and painful, frantic and fulfilling all at the same time. Her arms wrap around my back and she lifts me into the air, spinning me around like we’re in some predictable rom-com and I can’t help but laugh against her lips.

“Hmm, you definitely can’t leave now because I don’t want to ever go a day in my life without doing that again.” I say as Carmilla slowly slides me down her body.

“The kissing or the spinning?” she says while smiling at me.

I lean in to show her my answer rather than tell her. She hums into my mouth and pulls me in even closer. Lacing our fingers together, I pull back and drag her toward the door.

“Come on, let’s get out of here. This place gives me the creeps,” I say while opening the door. “Not that your mother’s apartment is any less scary.”

“Oh, about that. Mattie doesn’t really want Maman’s apartment so I guess it’s ours if we want it. It know it’s a bit creepy, but it’s an upgrade from the cramped space we’re used to.”

“Seriously?” I ask.

Carmilla pulls her hand from mine and wraps her arm around my shoulder, pulling me close.

“Let’s go home.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading this. I had to come up with some kind of positive ending to all the angst we witnessed today. It made me so sad but I know it will all work out in the end. I would love some feedback on this and my other works! Thank you so much.
> 
> You can find me at 2edge4u.tumblr.com if you want to yell at me or just come say hi!


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